Recently, I have had a battle of questioning my intentions in everything that I do. I struggle with being “holy” with my intentions—we all do sometimes, don’t we?
If I don’t set the right or a sound intention, I’ve realised that things don’t get done as much as I’d like to. And in the end, I’d suffer from a low quality work or have had the time to procrastinate when I know I am constantly working against the clock. (Or I could be just exhausted…)
Intention is the base or foundation of my faith.
If there is anything different about being more faithful as a Muslim than who I was before is that I know what my purpose of life is. I know that I am here to serve and benefit other people around me. I know that I am the slave of my Lord—Allah.
I know that I am here temporarily and that life is fragile. That just because I am young, I am not immune from death (nor will we ever be in fact).
In any case, I know that all of my actions are based on intentions. And nothing goes unrewarded as a Muslim… I mean, how amazing is that you get rewarded for intending to do something good?
And how easy would life be if we’d consistently go through life with an intention at heart?
My inner conflicts have always revolved around fear and doubts; I am usually scared to embrace the challenges that I would have to face if I choose whatever unconventional path that I’d choose to take.
As someone who writes, you can guess where this is going.
I ended up writing down my fears in a page and why I felt that way and how would I resolve that fear on the next page. This is so I could physically touch and see what is/are stopping me from pursuing those seemingly huge goals.
Then, I felt free.
When I’ve taken the time to reflect on these fears, it was only then I was able to break free and let go. And it so happens that within my writing session of discovering what makes me scared to go on to the next stage is the lack of right intention.
You know that uneasy feeling when you’re about to do something but can’t imagine yourself being in that “destination” or place where you’d like to be? Because you are so scared of what you might lose instead of thinking about what you might gain?
This… this when you’d start feeling uneasy and constrained by your own breath is where having the right intention comes into place. If it is not something that you’d take seriously, then might as well just live life according to other people than owning the choice to live an intentional life.
Don’t ignore your inner conflicts—your fears, doubts and the likes of them.
These fears are just based on assumptions and that I’ve realised, we’d usually calculate our ideas based on our limited experience. When you don’t put Allah into the picture, things just don’t make sense. It’s true. Things might make sense but your view would restrict into only one path—one that you’ve been or places that you’ve seen other people have been.
I’ve also realised that the more deviated my intentions from the one that I’ve set in the first place, the more I’d struggle to be sincere with what I do.
The only thing that lasts so far is when I’ve put Allah in my intention.
Honestly, I wouldn’t go far if I don’t know why I am doing what I am doing. I don’t know if I am able to go about things on my own if Allah isn’t the central purpose of what I do. When there is God in your intention, then things become a lot easier to take in and less scary.
This is not to say that you should not stop—that you constantly have to hustle every single time. It’s only natural to have a moment of highs and lows but always take these moments of lows as a place for us to pause.
Pause, reflect, refresh and just… listen to what you need before you’d go to the next stage. This is so that you’d feel enough and know where to set your boundaries.
It’s easier to maintain and be consistent than be constantly busy just so you’d wait for yourself to break. The moment where we’d break is when our intentions tend to get muddled.
So this is for you and me to take a minute or two to really… truly recollect our thoughts, pause and set the right intention. Yeap.