Just months ago, I prayed that my life would be filled with something—anything. I recall that I struggled so much within that I couldn’t really tell if I was experiencing low iman (faith) or depressed for being unemployed. I even went out of my way to search for a therapist because I couldn’t take it anymore. (But let me just write about this issue on a separate post altogether)
I was constantly exhausted from babysitting; worrying about where will I end up after struggling to find a job for almost a year; and trying to find ways to make my writing career work. I am not going to lie… it was difficult. It wasn’t easy to stay positive or hopeful all the time especially because I was already so hard on myself. I tried but there were days where I felt stuck more than I did feel like I was going somewhere.
Hence, what I’ve been writing in this blog has been what I’ve struggled and needed to write in order to help you and myself.
Now as I am two months into my job, I’ve been… filled. At so many things and at so many levels.
It has been to a point that I haven’t had the time to sit down properly and let my creative processes flow for a few things that I’d like to achieve before the year would come to an end. It has come to a point where I actually thought long and hard that perhaps, I haven’t had much left to offer.
But the root problem to my writer’s block or anything that has stopped me from making a progress—particularly for my so-called writing career—is that… I’ve stopped reading regularly. Now, I only go to Medium and search for relatable and uplifting articles but their roles stopped there. I didn’t practice any recommendations nor did I put enough effort in yet for what I’d need to do to change some of the habits that I’d like to throw in the bin.
Then, I’ve missed a week (last week) from writing in this blog simply because I couldn’t realistically fit this blog into anywhere in my schedule.
I know I am just still trying to adapt with changes in my life and hence, I’ve been struggling to manage myself.
You might be thinking as of now… that I am busy—that I am always working on something.
But I don’t want you to think that. In fact, I dislike the word busy. If there’s anything that I’d like to achieve in life is a state where I’d become more productive rather than busy. I hate appearing busy to other people especially to my family.
The bottom line is you’d make time for your priorities regardless of whether it’d drain you out in the end because you know the outcome’s worth more than money can ever buy—as cliche as that sounds.
It’s one of the things that I’ve learned from my teacher. He’s always on the go… he’s always travelling but he always make time for his students when he needs to. That’s the beautiful part about productivity. You make time for things that matter to you.
As I am writing this now, I’ve received a text regarding the arrival of my ordered books. And all I can say right now is that it could be a sign for me to make time for reading and writing.
What are you willing to make time for?