For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been struggling to manage myself—my thoughts especially— because I haven’t had the time to pause outside of prayer times. I’ve been forgetful and I’ve set a record of losing my only prescribed glasses at home. Most probably misplaced but as I’ve been looking for it since early morning, I just don’t care where it is anymore (It’s 9 pm where I am right now).

I’ve been feeling agitated at my messy side of the bedroom and the “study room” which once was a place where I’d spend my time writing and work on my personal projects.

My sleep hasn’t been productive; my sleep hasn’t been as restful it normally could have been. I’ve been sleeping later than I should trying to get some things done but with little outcome because of my mental exhaustion. It’s like I’ve been burnt out (Alhamdulillah for some good reasons) when I believe that I can avoid from it to happen too often in my life. Coffee doesn’t work anymore.

And here I am trying to figure out exactly of a topic that would benefit you or me at least. But then, I also refuse to let myself get away from writing in this blog on schedules I’ve set for myself because I need to know how much do I want to make writing as a career. If my career choice would eventually be this unconventional, then I’d like to remember this as my stepping stone.

Anyway, going back to my poor self-management, I’ve realised one thing. I’ve seen a pattern in articles that I’ve read  that if you do want to get everything done, it all comes down to how you’d use your time essentially. There’s nothing new to this but time and time again, it is just a lot easier to get caught up doing a mindless activity to fill your self up just so you’d… feel something. Regardless of whether you are doing multiple things in your life now, or at that stage of figuring out what you’d like to do for the rest of your life, what you are and what you will be are determined what you do now.

You need to set some priorities and give up certain things that wouldn’t add up to your personal and career goals. When you have already eliminated the things that would only waste your energy and mental space, there would be a lot more time to take care of yourself.

There would be a whole lot of time for me to get the spaces that I need to use organised and cleaner. There’d be a lot of time for me to sleep and perhaps, read more books that I’ve been wanting to read (but just haven’t figured out where to fit them in my time). There would be a whole lot of time for me to just unwind and implement some real digital detox so that I wouldn’t have to feel guilty.

Obviously, I am not against entertainment entirely but just as everything in life, we just need to seek balance while adapting with changes.

At times like this though, I just need to pause. After you’d pause and recollect your energy and thoughts—not just through sleep and all things physical—you’ll find a way to be where you’d like to feel and be again.

And when I do really think about it, if I could do it before, then it’s not impossible to do it all over again. So should you. 

Posted by:Syaza

Authenticity allows people to enter our world without forcing them to. Authenticity ripples into the hearts of others to create change without disrupting their own flow. So I write because of that. I also love coffee and cats. Intensely.

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